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Steel Panther and Future Villians @ The TLA.

May 21, 2014

SteelPanther2Text by Gabi Chepurny. Images by Jesse Marass.

Saturday was 80’s night at the TLA, complete with spandex, big hair and power ballads about girls who are beautiful when they don’t talk.

Los Angeles born Future Villains opened the show with a mix of originals and cover songs from AC/DC to Deep Purple. The five-piece are what we would imagine to have opened for Dokken at the Whisky a Go-Go in 1988, when hair metal ruled the scene.

Fans dressed in their best 80’s attire – rock star wigs from the party store, bandanas and the obligatory band patches sewn haphazardly onto denim and leather vests.

Steel Panther began their set with “Pussywhipped,” a perfect choice to get the show going, before launching into one of the most politically incorrect comedy skits we’ve ever seen at a concert. And the crowd, even the fat chicks, loved it.

Of course, lead singer Michael Starr had to be sure to espouse his love for Philly.

“I love pussy,” he said. “I love being in Steel Panther! I love Philadelphia! I love Philadelphia pussy!”

Guitarist Satchel chimed in: “Not only did you guys crack the Liberty Bell and shit, but this is where Tom Hanks caught AIDS and shit! But we’re about to make up for that with some of the best heavy metal ever written!”

Running jokes, like how it was Starr’s 66th birthday (a stab at how old bands like Mötley Crüe and Guns N’ Roses are) and that Starr sets off metal detectors even when he’s in his boxers because he’s got metal in his blood, showed us that the boys aren’t always offensively funny. But most of the time they are.

In between songs like “Asian Hooker” and “Gangbang At The Old Folks Home” and preening his luscious locks, Lexxi Foxx wasn’t to be left out on the jokes.

Satchel introduced him by saying, “Lexxi’s kind of retarded. That’s why he plays bass.”

Foxx began by commenting on how diverse the crowd was, something not often seen at metal shows. For this one, all ages and races were present.

“There’s even a black guy here!” When Foxx said. “Wait, I see three black guys!”

“The only reason black guys come to metal shows is to fuck some white pussy,” Satchel responded.

We were just as surprised as you are.

Not to leave anyone out, Foxx made sure to thank everyone for coming to the show.

“We’re glad you’re here,” he said. “Even the fat chicks.”

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