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The Magnificent Shithawks of The Greater Northern Americas: “Life Can Dismantle Chaos Through Unity But It’s a Long-Game.”

September 2, 2015


Since rising like a shitphoenix from the ashes of a previous band, Breechloader, The Magnificent Shithawks of The Greater Northern Americas have been spreading the Southern-flavored party vibes of what they call “outlaw metal” with such energy that they seem to be plugged into the same raw power about which Iggy Pop sang.

Unrepentantly rock ‘n’ roll, all three members of  the Magnificent Shithawks, a name taken from Trailer Park Boys, agreed to a surprisingly nerdy chat with with our Sean Barrett over tequila shots (the shots being their idea).

You have the best rocking out I’ve ever seen.

Bob Warner (drummer): The shittin’-a-midget face?

Like a cross between a pirate and Popeye. So tell us what you’ve been up to.

Les Schultz (bass/vocals): So far, I think we’ve only, what, we’ve done the demo?

Nick Macklin (guitar/vocals): Yeah, writin’, throwin’ the bones together, tryin’ to tour.

You could’ve fooled me.

Les: We went over a hump. We’re in a whole ‘nother zone now. We got out of another area, and every show has been…we’ve hit an area where we have what we wanted. We just keep raising the bar.

[Bob pours shots]

I get the impression that you’re very solar. Is that accurate?

Bob: Mhm. Yeah, definitely.

Nick: Very much so. That’s all I do, I sit around, get drunk, and watch space documentaries. Literally, that’s all I do.

Les: We’re into the UFO stuff. We’re into the conspiracy stuff. Just naturally, we’re into that kind of shit. Then it comes out in the songs. I know, I’ve got two right now where I’m singing space songs.

Nick: I gotta song about Boba Fett.

Bob: He’s a fuckin’ nerd.

Nick: Well, the song “Kill The Rat” that’s on the EP is, on the surface, about Boba Fett,

Boba Fett is a metaphor for…?

Nick: A friend of mine who used to sell a lot of cocaine and somebody ratted him out. It’s what he’d like to do to the guy who ratted him out because he ended up doin’ five years. Boba Fett chased down Han Solo for rattin’ out Jabba the Hutt. That’s the whole story behind, uh, Boba Fett the bounty hunter. So it’s about killin’ the rat. [all laugh].

And then there’s Parallax about seeking out the positions …

It’s like a mirror image, right?

Nick: Well, yeah. Parallax is a technique used by astronomers to find an invisible heavenly body and then figuring out where it is based on where two other heavenly bodies are positioned at different times. That’s called a parallax. But, Parallax is also the name of the main bad guy from Green Lantern before the Sinestro yellow ring saga.

Les: Oh, wow, this is in-depth.

Nick: Yeah. So, “Parallax”, as far as I’m writing it, is about two aspects of the universe – unliving things and living things. Living things organize chaotic particles.

Like entropy and hypertrophy?

Nick: Exactly. Life is the living song of hypertrophy. Entropy doesn’t have to happen.

Les: Yeah! It does!

Nick: No! No! Entropy doesn’t have to happen as long as all life in the universe decides to organize all chaotic particles.

Bob: That’s like me willing you not to be an asshole. It’s still gonna happen [laughter].

I don’t think that can be done. That was the whole point of “Jurassic Park.” Life is this chaos that we can never organize.

Nick: Life can dismantle chaos through unity but it’s a long-game. We’re talking billions and trillions of years. At that point – this gets into Arthur C. Clarke type shit – and that’s what the “Parallax” is about.

Les: I think that explanation’s like three times longer than the song.

Nick: Yeah, that’s why poetry exists. You have to create rhyme and reason from the chaotic thoughts. Parallax, in the Green Lantern, is an agent of entropy and the song is about…YES! Total power!, and that aspect of entropy.

Stars, like dust, are crushed/

The razor cuts the dose/

I’m going down, down, down/

galaxies burn, black holes will eat the dust/

confess a fire that confesses my name

And, then, the second verse is:

Watch me rape the nightmare deep in mother earth’s womb/

Hear her scream “why? why? why?/

It falls on deaf ears/

Her screams might join the chorus/

I’ll listen to the song a while/

It cures the terraphile that brings you to paradise


Les: We got an artist in the band.

Nick: Ask us questions about beers.

Okay. What’s one beer you’ll never drink again?

Nick: I can’t drink IPAs because I have the gout, so it all settles into my feet.

That sounds pretty made up.

Les: Nah, it’s true.

Nick: He’s seen it. I get these weird crazy lumps all over my body

What’s next for y’all?

Nick: We are gonna stop playing shows for a couple of months because I have a lot of work on the weekends. I’m gonna get a new computer and a new camera, so there’s gonna be a lot more videos …

Les:  … of pornography that he needs to watch, so that’s gonna roll into the next couple of months.

[more shots are poured]

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