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MINKA: It’s Not a Show. It’s a Carnival.

April 11, 2017

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To see MINKA is to experience art. Pretty surreal art.

They are about so much more than just their good-time, funky sounds. You will dance at one of their performances, for sure.

But you may also have your life altered by what you see, hear and experience. 

The band headlines The Foundry on Saturday in an event that will feature burlesque dancers, sideshow performers and visual artists, as well as performances by three other bands – The MysteriesAttic tapes and Leisure Muffin.

Our G.W. Miller III caught up with MINKA frontman Dick Rubin to learn about the man who can’t keep his clothes on while putting on shows.

Top images by Charles Wrzesniewski. Lack of proper grammar in the Q&A by Dick Rubin.

At your birthday show in February, you jumped out of a cake naked and then launched into your performance. Very ballsy! How was that experience?

 it was deeply moving, George. i felt honored to perform such an important public service.

believe it or not, 78% of Americans suffer from recurring nightmares about being naked.

tell me if this sounds familiar:

you’re giving a powerpoint presentation. then suddenly, your clothes evaporate, and you’re bare-assed in front of the whole conference.

and then…you’re ashamed. but why?

the human body is a beautiful thing. maybe the most beautiful thing there is.

my body deserves to be celebrated, not hidden in the shadows.

was i nervous to show the world my assets? sure.

but i knew this was something bigger than just me. i knew it was my task to inspire a generation.

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Any ramifications from that performance? It seems like certain body parts were kind of swinging all over the place. Any bruises or anything?

well, everyone now knows the truth – i’m a grower, not a show-er. and ever since the grand reveal, my pornographic career has hit a brick wall.

on the plus side, the incident has helped MINKA steer the conversation away from our music and towards my genitals.

Don’t mean to harp on the naked stuff but how will you top that at your show at The Foundry?

it’s not a show. it’s The MINKA Carnival.

it’s where your dreams come true.

 

For people who are not familiar with MINKA, how would you describe the music and the band’s performances?

 let’s just say the band is about fun.

we have fun. and you’ll have fun.

FUN! FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

FN FUN FUN FUN FUNF UFN FUDNSF USDF USDBF SDIFUSND FSIDUF oei5u30!@#495u df

“this interview is taking a while,” he whispers under his breath.

Dick checks his watch.

“you see, these days, my mind wanders more than it used to.”

ever so slowly, he approaches the mirror. the face looking back at him appears strange and distorted.

 the doctors exchange concerned glances…it seems Dick is finally losing his grip on reality.

 suddenly, he launches his body at the window, screaming.

 “get me out! i don’t belong in here. MINKA IS REAL…they need me!”

a passing attendant mutters to herself. “ugh, can someone please shut him up already? always talking about that damn band.”

her friend laughs to herself. “Bertha, look at him! he really believes it.”

“i’ll tell ya. if i had a nickel for every time one of these guys thought they were Dick Rubin….well, i’d have a lot of nickels.”

“of all fucking bands…how do they pick that one?”

“i think it’s probably the whole naked thing. and the orgies.”

as they stare at patient #453, they both start cackling in unison.

“as if anybody would want to have an orgy with that…thing!!”

the earth begins to shake.

 the fuck was that!?”

blinding beams of purple light shine through the windows. a spaceship uncloaks in the hospital’s courtyard.

 is that…? no, it can’t be.”

“DEARLY BELOVED,” a baritone voice intones over loudspeakers.

“is it him?” Bertha wonders aloud.

“I’M HERE FOR DICK.”

the entire cell block erupts in cheers. Bertha and Delores look at each other, then back to patient #453.

 “huh. guess he wasn’t lying after all,” Bertha mumbles, unimpressed.

“pssh. kids these days…”

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>

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Have you ever considered running for elected office? Do you think performing naked would hinder or help further your political aspirations? 

George, have you ever considered jumping naked out of a cake?

And now the lightning round! Give two or three word responses to the following prompts:

Donald Trump

personal friend

Johnny Showcase

personal friend

Albert Camus

some french guy. does it really matter?

Nicos Gun

Best of Philly, 2012

Sam Hinkie

my own personal Jesus

Nina Simone

perfect

Last question: If the world were flat like Kyrie Irving (and other people) suggest, what would happen when you hit the end of the world? What would you see and what would you do?

interesting question.

let’s have a beer summit: you, me, and kyrie.

we’ll get to the bottom of this.

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